Our team of support

I recall well the dreaded visit to the retina specialist when he said - its time to quit driving.  I knew and in a way it felt like a sense of relief as it wasn't feeling safe.  We were leaving for Disneyland the following week.  I turned in my driver's license just after we came back from from our trip with our kids and my parents in 1994. I remember well the day.  I was wearing a Mickey Mouse Sweatshirt :) and was playing out various scenarios regarding transportation.  The rest of life without driving at age 29 seemed pretty overwhelming.  When a neighbor came over to pick up her son from playing with my son. I told her today is the day I quit driving. Seriously, she said - what are you going to do.  I smiled and told her -- well, I don't have a choice.  I'll learn to walk a lot of places!   As much as I wanted to continue driving, I couldn't.  My eyesight had declined and it was not safe.   We would take it a day at a time. We had tried to prepare.  We had selected a home that was walking distance to elementary, junior high, grocery store, dentist, bank and the bus stop. This location and the incredible neighbors and friends around us blessed our lives immensely during this transition time.  This area and the people there represent so much love and support to me and my family.  They were on our team.

I now had an opportunity to reach out and ask for help.  Yeah, right.  This was so hard.  I had so many people willing to help.  Picking up that phone and saying - hey can I get a ride to the grocery store was so hard.  I longed to just go hop in my car and not involve others.   I learned to plan ahead. I walked a lot.  I learned flexibility.  When one of my children was in need of getting to an activity, suddenly I had the courage to call and ask for a ride.   

A group of amazing women in my neighborhood arranged a carpool to pick me up from work for the rest of that year each day.  Not only did that physically give me a lift from work - it lifted my spirits immensely.  It helped my family who simply couldn't be there for everything.  At a time when it all felt rather overwhelming, they stepped in and reminded me how support from our friends lifts us.  

Since those early days, there have been many wonderful people who have stepped in and become part of our team.  I am so grateful.  Sometimes it may even be a stranger that says - hey do you need some directions as I am standing getting oriented.  I have learned a lot about Interdependence -- we all need and help each other.  My mom tells me as a little 2 1/2 year old when she offered to help I told her, I can do it on my own!  I appreciate my spunk and determination, however, I also appreciate the growth and connections that have been formed as I've learned the value in having and being a member of a team of support.   We can't do life on our own!    

Just back from a 14 mile run in preparation for an upcoming marathon ... inspired by a team of support helping it be possible.

Although this hasn't been an easy trait to learn, resilient people reach out for help and form a team.  Experiencing such amazing people on my team has often had me reflecting and seeking how to help someone else and be a part of their team.  I've also learned the value in taking life a day at a time. 

Gritty Resilience

Grit "an individual’s passion for a particular long-term goal or endstate coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective. This perseverance of effort promotes the overcoming of obstacles or challenges that lie within a gritty individual’s path to accomplishment and serves as a driving force in achievement realization."

Good news today after an appointment with the physical therapist -- foot is healing and the IT Band is manageable.  With some grit, I am on track (with some amazing friends/guides) to run the marathon!  Tomorrow will be a good test as we run 13.  

Running the Top of Utah Marathon

Last year three friends and I completed a marathon together.  Crossing the finish line of a marathon is amazing.   The journey takes training, hard work, discipline, and focus to reach this goal both physically and mentally.  I am blind and run every step with a guide.  I run tethered to another person. For this marathon it was three amazing friends and my husband the last five miles.  We were with each other for the ups, the downs, the aches, and the victory of crossing that finish line!  For four mornings each week for 20 weeks prior, these amazing women would knock on my door ready to not only run but serve as my guide.  Inspiring.  I crossed the finish line with such joy (and yes, fatigue and sore legs to come).  There was a day when I didn’t believe this was a possibility.  There was a day after a diagnosis of Retinitis Pigmentosa that it felt like many doors were closed in my life. My life is rich with possibilities.   Becky Andrews 

Diagnosis Day. Power of Support in our Resilience.

I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa (a degenerative eye condition) on a December morning at the age of 18.  I was a freshman at Utah State University at the time feeling like my big challenge was which boy to date on a Friday night :).  After leaving the opthalmologist's office,  a 'good friend' (now my husband :), Steve was one of the first people I shared this new information.  We were at a dance that evening and I said ... I've got Retina something - Pigment or something like that.  I couldn't remember what it was called.  I just knew that my clumsiness, inability to see at night and no peripheral vision now made sense! I hadn't grasped yet that my vision would continue to deteriorate.  It would take a while for the diagnosis to set in.  That night I recognized the power of support and friendship in our challenging times.  He sincerely cared.   

I didn't know anything about navigating blindness and some of the challenging and amazing waters to come.  As I reflect on this day 30 + years later, the ability to reach out to others has blessed my life and helped immensely.  

Steve and I kayaking in beautiful Sausalito, October 2013 - soon to celebrate our 30th anniversary.

I selected the name of our business:  Resilient Solutions, Inc. because I love the concept of Resilience and am inspired each day by the stories of others' ability to bounce back from difficult situations.  Indeed: 

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.  CC Scott

We each have a story.  I will be sharing my story in this blog and also would love to hear your story.  My resilience grew as I heard from others ... their examples, their strength inspired me.  I recall shortly after my diagnosis, my parents took me to California to meet with a therapist - she had Retinitis Pigmentosa.  She had a thriving practice, and I recognized that just maybe that could be me someday.  I am touched and appreciative of my parents' amazing support and  helping me see the value in reaching out to others. 

The power of support/connecting with others is indeed an attribute in our Resilience. Reflecting on the many, many incredible people who have been on my team.    

Supportive people give us the space to grieve and work through our emotions.  They know how to listen and when to offer just enough encouragement without trying to solve all of our problems with their advice.  Good supporters know how to just be with adversity -- calming us rather than frustrating us.  Brad Waters, LCSW